Over the weekend Andrew and I celebrated the first anniversary of our marriage at a lovely little Bed & Breakfast in Hickory, NC. It gave us a cozy room and quiet Saturday to reflect back on where the year has brought us. How much change and challenge and growth. We’ve been stretched and shaped and chiseled down like clay.
It feels as if most of the year was a rollicking experiment in finding goodness. What is good for each of us and both of us together, what is significant, meaningful and real. My marriage with Andrew has somehow contrived this beautiful landing dock, as if in the middle of an ocean, from which I’ve been able to swim out, dive down, and return with marvelous nuggets of the world; dropping them on the dock and the two of us peering over them in wonderment, trying to understand. With grace and encouragement, and much discussion, we keep sifting through all the treasures, saving the ones with value and tossing back the others.
But you know, a year passes quickly. We are still learning to eat and sleep, to keep a clean house and sit down once in a while.
Learning to endure, to excel and focus in the small, mundane. To remain steadfast in hope and joy.
We are learning all the time the unfathomable faithfulness of a gracious and loving God. Learning to trust more and worry less, and to really mean it.
Learning and failing and learning again that it is enough. This, whatever, is just what we need. Holding our great dreams loosely, sensing and praying and mostly, being patient.
In The Message, Romans 12:1-2 says, “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.” I believe this has been our heart each day as we rise. Staking all we are and each little, pygmy thing we do before The King, asking help for our unbelief and healing for our cracked spirits, clenching our jaws and hoping like mad we can make something beautiful out of it all. And I would say we’re different now.
But yet, it is clear we’ve only just begun.